Album Review – Steel Panther / Lower the Bar (2017)

The most depraved band in the world raises the bar once again with an ode to all the debauchery and joy of the golden age of Hard Rock, Glam and Heavy Metal.

After the considerable letdown that was All You Can Eat, released  by American Heavy Metal/Hard Rock band Steel Panther in 2014, I got a little worried about the future of one of the funniest metal acts in the history of music. Their jokes were not as good as before, their lyrics were way too repetitive, and there were no memorable anthems like in their previous albums. However, it seems that Michael Starr (vocals), Satchel (guitars), Lexxi Foxxx (bass) and Stix Zadinia (drums) have got their mojo back in Lower the Bar, their fourth major-label studio album and an ode to all the debauchery and joy of the golden age of Hair and Glam Metal.

Let’s be honest, after the first official video of the album was released exclusively on Pornhub, we knew Lower the Bar would bring back the good old Steel Panther we learned to love through the years. Musically speaking, the album kicks ass with its crisp production, enhancing even more the already potent impact of each instrument like a gigantic dildo would do to a young woman. Moreover, there’s a lot to enjoy in this album, from pure Hard Rock to a mellow ballad, from a Rock N’ Roll anthem to their personal tribute to a classic band from the 80’s, and so on. Put differently, it’s two in the pink, one in the stink, and Steel Panther blowing your speakers with the electricity flowing from Lower the Bar.

And Steel Panther blast great old school Glam Metal to kick off the party in Goin’ in the Backdoor, with Satchel delivering his always amazing riffs and solos while Michael Starr proves he’s by far one of the best singers in Hard Rock today, resulting in a solid musicality that lives up to the best songs of their career. The following song, Anything Goes, has all it takes to become a classic during their live concerts: its rhythm is perfect for headbanging, a beer and some tits at a rock n’ roll party, while its lyrics are absolutely mental (“Break out the tanks / Hand grenades / Minus Charlie Sheen / Cuz I don’t want AIDS”). Satchel, Lexxi and Stix definitely know how to generate pure Hard Rock, turning this into a fun rockin’ anthem for admirers of depraved music. In Poontang Boomerang, the song that had its official video debuted on Pornhub (which was in my opinion a fantastic idea), the music is pretty much a witty homage to Hard Rock icons Warrant, as it sounds a lot like their all-time hit “Cherry Pie”, but of course this one is nastier, sexier and more demented; whereas in That’s When You Came In we’re treated to an acoustic intro beautifully delivered by Michael and Satchel, slowly becoming one of those “romantic” and “touching” power ballads by Steel Panther, not to mention Satchel’s amazing solo before the song’s last piece.

My favorite song of the album, the fantastic Wrong Side of the Tracks (Out In Beverly Hills), is a blazin’ high-octane anthem highly recommended for your road trip playlist, with Michael kicking ass on vocals while Lexxi and Stix keep exhaling pure Rock N’ Roll with their bass lines and beats, which obviously means they have to play this awesome tune during their live concerts. Now the Fun Starts, a dark-ish low-tuned composition that kind of puts the listener in a trance, might be used to open their concerts, in special because there’s a lot going on in the lyrics that can be considered a warm-up for the show.  Getting back to their high voltage mode we have Pussy Ain’t Free, a modern and fresh Hard Rock tune with a Glam Metal twist and another top moment in Lower the Bar, with Satchel and Lexxi being on fire with their strings. And if you think the name of the song is already sexist, how about those lyrics (“Don’t need a certified public accountant / To run the numbers on my dick and balls / Don’t need to look at every Amex statement / Already know I’m getting charged for the booty calls”)? Anyway, Wasted Too Much Time might not be a bad song, musically speaking it’s quite fine and even reminds me of some Hard Rock classic ballads from the 80’s and 90’s, but it lacks that mighty punch from the rest of the album.

Mixing up the gripping Hard Rock by Scorpions and Motley Crüe with 80’s Pop Rock (in special its synths), I Got What You Want presents a very pleasant sonority with Michael having an amazing performance, supported  by the song’s old school backing vocals; whereas Walk of Shame ventures through the fields of American Country Rock with hints of Blues and obviously their kick-ass Glam Metal core. Stix dictates the rhythm with his groovy beats, while Michael sends a thoughtful message to all women (“No wonder then, every weekend is the same / Your vagina’s still eighteen / Baby, stand up tall and walk that walk of shame / That walk of shame / Go on, girl!”). And lastly, She’s Tight is their top-notch cover version of a summer-like hit, being heavier and more metallic than the original version and even featuring Robin Zander, lead singer and rhythm guitarist for the Rock N’ Roll band Cheap Trick, the band that recorded the original song back in the 80’s. I’m sure Robin is really happy with what Michael and the guys did not only with the music, but with the official video for it (by the way, Michael’s “Cheap Slut” shirt was a great tribute to Robin and his band).

In a nutshell, if you never get tired of Steel Panther’s sexist and dirty jokes, I’m sure you’ll love Lower the Bar, and album that does exactly the opposite of what its name says, raising the band’s bar once again in heavy music. In addition, there’s always new entertaining material on their YouTube channel, such as the one-of-a-kind, once-in-a-lifetime Lower the Bar Awards, which at least for me is already more important and honest than the Grammy Awards, don’t you agree? Anyway, you can buy some interesting Lower the Bar bundles at their official webstore, including one with a beer stein and one with a shirt. And no, there are no bundles with dildos, inflatable whores or anything like that. At least not yet.

Best moments of the album: Anything Goes, Wrong Side of the Tracks (Out In Beverly Hills) and Pussy Ain’t Free.

Worst moments of the album: Wasted Too Much Time.

Released in 2017 Kobalt Label Services

Track listing
1. Goin’ in the Backdoor 3:10
2. Anything Goes 3:01
3. Poontang Boomerang 3:22
4. That’s When You Came In 3:46
5. Wrong Side of the Tracks (Out In Beverly Hills) 3:07
6. Now the Fun Starts 3:43
7. Pussy Ain’t Free 3:56
8. Wasted Too Much Time 3:50
9. I Got What You Want 4:13
10. Walk of Shame 4:11
11. She’s Tight (Cheap Trick cover feat. Robin Zander) 2:54

Band members
Michael Starr – lead vocals
Satchel – lead, rhythm and acoustic guitars, backing vocals
Lexxi Foxxx – bass guitar, backing vocals
Stix Zadinia – drums, percussion, backing vocals

Guest musicians
Robin Zander – additional vocals on “She’s Tight”
Rudy Sarzo – bass on “Wrong Side of the Tracks (Out In Beverly Hills)”
Michael Catton – background vocals on “I Got What You Want”
Chris Catton – background vocals on “I Got What You Want”

Album Review – Helligators / Road Roller Machine (2015)

A high-end primeval nitro-rock music album, with the sole purpose of smashing every living creature that stands on its way just like an enraged road roller machine would do.

Rating4

copertina_road_roller_machineSometimes the Rock N’ Roll played by a band is so loud, filthy and ruthless that the band surpasses the invisible boundaries established by the music industry, becoming respected and loved by the always-demanding diehard Heavy Metal fans. This is what happens with icons such as Motörhead, Volbeat, Crucified Barbara and many other badass bands in the world, and since 2009 we can also include Italian Rock N’ Roll band Helligators on this list so vicious their music is. With that said, if you want to give them a try I suggest you take a listen at their brand new album, entitled Road Roller Machine, and you’ll be able to feel all that Rock N’ Roll electricity flowing through your veins.

Merging elements from different genres and subgenres of rock and metal music, and relying heavily on their deep-rooted Rock N’ Roll/Stoner Rock attitude night and day, this excellent band formed in Rome, Italy returns with more of their immoral music after releasing their debut album Against All Odds, from 2011. It’s interesting to see an Italian band playing what is considered pure American music, but they do it so well you’ll start asking yourself if they’re indeed from Italy or if they’re American guys who left their homeland and are now just living in “il bel paese”. Either way, by the time you find an answer to those questions, you’ll be already addicted to their top-notch heavy music.

The opening track Nomad sounds clearly inspired by the musicality from Motörhead and the badass attitude from Chrome Division, with its nonstop dirty riffs and groovy drumming supporting the rockin’ raspy vocals by Emanuele “Hellvis” and, of course, all embellished by an exciting guitar solo, exactly what is needed in visceral Rock N’ Roll. Not only the initial riff in the next track, The Doomstroyer, a killer Stoner Rock tune with no shenanigans, is 100% kick-ass, but also the atmosphere generated by the guitar lines by Kamo and Mik “El Santo” takes you to some sort of desolated and pungent desert where the music by Helligators reverberates like thunder. And if you’re taking the road anytime soon don’t forget to add Scream to your playlist, a song perfect for enjoying a cold one, banging your head and screaming as loud as you can together with Hellvis and the rest of the crew. Two lessons that can be taken from this track are first that, when they stick to the basics the result is absolutely awesome, and secondly, Kamo is an awesome guitarist who truly knows how to craft the perfect guitar solo the music is asking for.

Listen to She Laughs and you’ll see how much they love Stoner Rock/Metal the likes of Down so heavy and soulful it is, not to mention the song’s lyrics about a sultry demon-like woman, which turn it into another interesting option for a fiery strip-tease at any gentlemen’s club in the world. Then we have the outstanding razin’ tune Snake Oil Jesus, previously released in 2012 as a single, where the band puts the pedal to the metal offering the listener some fuming guitar riffs and solos while drummer Alex fuels the rhythm with his strong beats. In addition, try not to get addicted to its chorus, it’s as catchy as hell (“If you feel so sad and lonely / Pray and give me all your money / I just wanna be your friend / Come Holy Ghost and feed us / I will treat you good I swear / I am the Snake Oil Jesus”).

helligatorsRev up your engines because there’s still a lot more awesomeness to come, starting with Truckdriver, a great Rock N’ Roll song where Hellvis lives up to his nickname and its accelerated rhythm and excellent guitar duo will surely please all fans of old school rock music, followed by Swamp Man Voodoo, with elements of the eerie music by Groove Metal icons White Zombie fittting perfectly to the theme of this song. Moreover, it’s a good option for a psychological horror flick soundtrack, with the only letdown being its backing vocals, not as effective as in previous tracks. And when a song is called Bad Ass you know it’s going to be heavy and fun, with Helligators getting back to that low-tuned sonority from Stoner Rock blended with faster Rock N’ Roll and the vocals by Hellvis reminding me of the amazing Eddie Guz, the harsh and inebriate voice of The Carburetors and ex-Chrome Division.

Last but not least, the pub song Stone Crusher is perhaps the most extreme version of their Stoner Rock side, and how about that awesome guitar solo halfway through the song? Although the second half of the song loses part of its electricity, it’s nothing that would make it less entertaining, before the Country Rock semi-acoustic ballad Black Sun closes the album enhanced by huge dosages of feeling and passion by the band members, with highlights to the cool bass lines by Pinna “Yeti”, the song’s doomsday vibe and its melancholic ending. You can listen to a preview of each and every song of Road Roller Machine HERE, where Helligators present the album on the European Metal Channel.

To sum up, Road Roller Machine might not be the most innovative and complex album in the world, but who said it should be so? Helligators do a superb job delivering high-end primeval nitro-rock music, with the sole purpose of smashing every living creature that stands on their way just like an enraged road roller machine would do. If you want to connect with this talented rockin’ machine and know more about their music and tour dates, go check their official Facebook page, and if you’re one of those crazy rockers who salivates whenever you listen to a dirty riff, you can find Road Roller Machine on Amazon or Google Play, among other locations. I honestly doubt you’ll regret purchasing such an incredible feast of Rock N’ Roll like the one offered by Helligators.

Best moments of the album: The Doomstroyer, Scream, Snake Oil Jesus and Truckdriver.

Worst moments of the album: Swamp Man Voodoo and Stone Crusher.

Released in 2015 Sliptrick Records

Track listing
1. Nomad 5:17
2. The Doomstroyer 5:26
3. Scream 4:29
4. She Laughs 4:55
5. Snake Oil Jesus 3:57
6. Truckdriver 4:10
7. Swamp Man Voodoo 6:21
8. Bad Ass 6:20
9. Stone Crusher 6:14
10. Black Sun 5:02

Band members
Emanuele “Hellvis” – lead vocals
Kamo – lead guitar, backing vocals
Mik “El Santo” – guitar, backing vocals
Pinna “Yeti” – bass
Alex – drums